Monday, September 7, 2009
Travels in Rwanda
Rwanda is a beautiful country! It is full of hills that are usually very green. Most of Rwanda is farmland, so many of the hills are terraced and covered with crops of various kinds. Banana orchards are everywhere! Makes me feel like I am home in Selah, driving past orchard after orchard. Except banana trees look nothing like northwest fruit trees. Whenever we drove past a village all the kids would wave and yell “Muzungu!!” Muzungu is the word used for anyone who is not Africa. If you are Asian, they will yell “Muzungu Asia!” Makes me feel a little weird. But I also felt welcomed everywhere we went. I wonder if this is just because of the color of my skin, however. White skin is associated with wealth and power. And while I have very little of either, I can’t help but enjoy the shouting and waving.
Our first stop was Gahini, a town in Rwanda where, in the 1930’s, the East African Revival started. This is also the place where the king of Rwanda lived. It is beautiful! We heard several people speak about the revival, the church now, and life in Rwanda before and after the genocide.
After two days in Gahini we traveled to Kigali, the capital city of Rwanda. Kigali is a fantastically designed city. Almost all the roads are paved, there are sidewalks, and a genius drainage system that is much needed as Rwanda is the land of a thousand hills. There is a distinct downtown with tall buildings and shopping malls and restaurants and hotels, but also local vendors selling crafts, books, and food. However, Kigali is also a hard place to be as it was where the genocide began.
Our first stop in Kigali was Nyamata, a church where several thousand people were killed over the course of three days during the genocide. Nyamata is no longer a church where people for worship, but a memorial site where people come to grieve and remember the past. When we walked into the church I think all the color must have drained from my face as I saw piles of rotting clothing covering the pews and the floor. There were holes in the roof from shrapnel from grenades, and bullet holes all over the walls. My first thoughts were to run as fast and as far away as I could. But I stayed and listened as our tour guide walked us through exactly what had happened during the three days people were trapped inside the church. I will not repeat them here as I still have a hard time thinking about it. When it really became to much for me is when the group was taken below the church where the remains of people were. Stacks of bones and skulls lined the walls. I could not bring myself to go below and see it all. So I peeked through the windows a little. But that was enough to make me want to get on the next plane home. I do not handle death very well.
The next day we went to the Kigali genocide memorial. This memorial was set up to walk you through genocides all over the world, and then the Rwandan genocide. It carefully explained what lead up to the genocide, what the genocide was, and what has happened afterwards. This was not as hard for me as Nyamata, but it was followed by a documentary of the genocide. In the documentary is actual footage of people being slaughtered, and later of decomposing bodies covering the city. I think after Nyamata and the documentary I was probably in a literal state of shock. And still there was more to hear as we listened to many different speakers throughout the rest of the week talk about the genocide and their experiences with it, either during or after it. I found that the only way I could get through it all was to not think about it. I kept it as contained deep down in me as possible because I was afraid of how much emotion there was in me about it all. I am a visual person, however, so everywhere we drove in Kigali I kept picturing dead bodies.
When I finally faced a little of what I was feeling I found a lot of anger at God, and a lot of sadness. I had heard stories if babies being smashed against walls and then ground up into meatballs; women who were raped over and over again for months; children who were hacked apart by machetes. Where was God in all of this? How could He stand by and let this happen?
Yet I know that God is good, loving, caring, and powerful. My head knows all of this, and my heart has believed this in the past. But it takes me time to work through my emotions and come to terms with the bad stuff of this world. So please pray for me as I slowly open the hatch that lets out the emotions surrounding my week in Rwanda.
On a lighter note, I have experienced so many different toilets this week! Whenever we get to a new place and I open the door to the toilet room my heart beats a little fast in anticipation of what I will find. Sometimes it is a hole in the concrete floor, other times it is a porcelain bowl in the ground that flushes with great force. Occasionally it is an actual toilet, but even then there is no guarantee it will flush. Also, toilet paper is not seen as a requirement to provide. So it is a good idea to always have toilet paper and instant hand sanitizer close at hand.
I also found the place I would like to honeymoon too. Lake Bunyonyi in Uganda has an island camp called Bushara. You camp in a safari tent (large and green canvas) in the most comfortable beds, wake up to birds singing, shower by moonlight, swim in the lake, or just read on the shore. It is BEAUTIFUL! That’s were we ended our Rwanda trip and debriefed our experiences. And that’s where I am ending this exhaustive blog!
Prayer requests: school starts today! I am not really ready for classes and homework to begin. Also pray for my emotional and spiritual processes and that I will be able to find people to help me process through it all. And pray that the desire to run away to America will not be too strong as I adjust to life in Africa.
Love to all!
Joy
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Wow. I am so glad to read about your trip to Rwanda and to know what you are feeling. I will be praying for you and for all that you have seen to be sifted through as God sustains you. I think God will reveal Himself to you more and more deeply as you reflect over time. Some of what you described reminds me of the stories of the Holocast. I was brought to tears over the insane brutality and evil that leads to this kind of hatred for those who are our brothers and sisters.
ReplyDeleteI like the toilet descriptions! I can just picture you peering in to see what toilet you get to use. Almost like looking into your stocking at Christmas! Is it a candy bar? Or a dorky present from your mom? Or a Brazil nut?!
My friend Danny suggested we try Skype international for calling. He also told me a phone card to buy online. I am going to go research them now.
Did you know it is 330 AM in Selah? I couldn't sleep and checked my blackberry and saw you had blogged so I got up! I also took a little medicinal sleeping aid and hope to fall asleep soon.
I love you! Praying for you all the time!
Momomomomomomom
Oh Joy...
ReplyDeleteI read and wept. There is no way you could have come out of Rwanda without being profoundly affected--and shocked. In my early 20s I was compelled to read about the Holocaust, as your mom also mentioned. When people say it never happened I am angry. The evil people are capable of is beyond comprehension.
How does God let this stuff happen? I have no clue. As my mother always says, "It's a mystery." That's for sure.
My way of dealing with God's part in it, is that He gave us free will. And unfortunately, we are corruptable. Your job as a missionary is to not be absorbed by the pain of others, but to learn to minister from your deep heart of compassion. I cried watching a documentary about Afghan widows last night...it's just hard to watch human suffering and feel so helpless to impact it.
And then,... in your characteristic way, I could hear your voice and inflections talking about the toilets. Funny.
And the location of your honeymoon. How sweet. It must be a very beautiful place.
Please don't run away to America. I don't really think you would, but I am praying for you that you will find comfort in these hard places. If you don't see this through, you'll always regret it.
I love you. Martha
joy!
ReplyDeletei've loved staying connected to you through your posts and also as a source for how to pray for you! i have been and i know God has a plan in all of this.
love this quote..."whatever you do, be all there" - jim elliot
love you!
-kari